r/FemmeThoughts Jun 06 '20

Black Lives Matter


Let’s be honest. This sub is not as active as we would like, and we, the mods, are responsible.

It’s because of that inactivity, and because we have each struggled over what to say and how, that we’ve delayed so long in speaking up about what is going on the world today.

The recent series of killings of Black people by police disgusts us, individually and collectively. The protests that have sprung up in response to this repulsive and meaningless spate of violence are inspirational, but it should never have taken the murder of innocent people to bring this out.

FemmeThoughts stands with the Black community. Black Lives Matter. They will always matter, even when the unjust governments and societies around the world do not treat them as if they do. They matter. And it is a shame on the human race that Black people have been treated as anything other than valued and equal.

It is our hope that these protests will lead to meaningful change in this world. We are committed to supporting that change in whatever way we can.

Please see below for a list of resources to help you support the movement.

Black Lives Matter

Natl Resource List #GeorgeFloyd

Yes - All Cops Are Bastards

ACAB Explained - Part One

Say Her Name - Breonna Taylor (Action Items)

DeRay McKesson: On The Path Toward Police Abolition

I Want To Be An Ally But I Dont Know What To Do (Giselle Buchanan)

r/FemmeThoughts 10d ago

The first software engineers were women. The first algorithm was also written by a woman. The pioneer of broadening internet access is also a woman. These are just a few examples.

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r/FemmeThoughts 10d ago

shy lady


hey everyone, new to both this feed as well as a new Reddit user. Would love to find new people to just chat with..

r/FemmeThoughts 20d ago

[support] Husband (35m) said some things that bothered me. Can you weigh in on this?


My husband said women as gender like men far more than men like women and in a far more well rounded way.

He said it's believed that m isogny is far more common than m isandry, across the world and throughout history. And he said everybody you ask will say M uslim countries (like I ran) hate women, and that's billions of men.

He said women have always liked men more through time and across the world too.

He said men who hate women hate them for personal reasons. They see women as i nferior, l esser, i ncapable, u nfunny, etc etc.

And he said women who hate men hate them as backlash against m isogny, not because they see men as i nferior, etc.

He said traditional roles for men and women are not seen as different but equal, and instead most people these days say housewives are housewives because men think women are not c apable and are i nferior. They don't say housewives raise families, they say that they are o ppressed.

He said take s ex with women away and these men prefer men in every way. But take s ex with men away from women and they have many things that they still like about men.

He said therefore women accept more about men than men do about women and he said f eminists complain about how bad it is to be a s traight woman and how they are helpless because of this. They complain about how bad men are and still want them. They are happy to find the needle in the haystack.

He said women are also therefore more s traight than men. But that nobody questions how s traight s exist men truly are. Meanwhile women who h ate men & f eminists...are often called l esbians.

Is he right? He said f eminists would all agree and even if they don't wanna admit it, they know it's true as they always vent about how much men hate women vs how women don't hate men.

r/FemmeThoughts 28d ago

Just saying hi


Not really sure how to introduce myself, what are we supposed to talk about here? I'm a trans girl from India, I'm interested in history and political science.

she/her please

r/FemmeThoughts Oct 17 '22

[advice] Am I the weirdo - gendering objects


Every now and then someone I know will gender an object, and it lowkey gets under my skin. Just wondering if I’m the weirdo here for being bothered by it. For context, I speak English as a first language and we live in an English speaking country, so it’s unusual to have genders associated with nouns.

Examples: a friend refers to his car using female pronouns. I understand that people name their cars, but assigning it a gender feels antiquated and maybe even regressive - like in Ye Olden Tymes, when ships were considered female. Kinda grates on the brain to hear it.

Another friend genders lots and lots of inanimate objects as female. I think it’s a pushback against “male as default” assumptions? It still feels weird to me.

Every now and then I’ll see an internet stranger referring to an item they’ve handcrafted as “she.” Low stakes of course.

What do you think? Would this bug you? Am I being oversensitive? Is it harmless? Have you got another perspective?

r/FemmeThoughts Sep 26 '22

"Girls Who Code" books banned in some US classrooms • The Register

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r/FemmeThoughts Sep 05 '22

[mental health] Homicides Committed by Black Women Are Rare. So What’s Going On?

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r/FemmeThoughts Sep 04 '22

[support] I became really paranoid, reclusive and depressed. I need advice, please.


Is misogny widely believed to be far more common than misandry?

And does this mean women as a gender like men much more than men as a gender like women, generally speaking?

What else could men being more prone to hating women than women are to hating men mean?


Highly rated comments on this post say the world in general is this way.

And I mean if you asked people which is more common and widespread than the other.

Also why is it so uncommon for women to lose all attraction to men and to feel permanently down because misogny is and has always been far more common than misandry?

And I don't just mean the here and now or in the Western world. I mean observing through recent history, long ago history and around the world and in different cultures. For example Muslim countries and India, etc everybody says hate women. Don't they? If you asked people about how Muslim men view women, what would they say?

Another thing is men who see women as lesser, inferior, unfunny, incapable, only good for one thing while these men bond and form deeper connections with other men. All the while everybody sees them as straight. But to me how can that be? If sex is gone, nobody keeps them interested in women. I have a theory that many men with issues with or angry at women are not straight. They use sex with women as a way to impress their male friends.

Sexist men are the only ones attracted to what they deem inferior and lesser and hate. Since racists, antisemites and so on are not attracted to black people or jews people.

So women are attracted to and like men in a far more well rounded way. Physically, mentally, emotionally. They also never saw men as inferior, lesser, incapable, unfunny, and don't objectify them, etc.

Any misandry I have seen is backlash towards misogny and only that. Not seeing men as inferior or objects, etc.

So as a general rule and as a whole everybody will say misogny is far more common than misandry. People say our society is misogynistic, patriarchal and that internalised misogny is even a thing in women. Again, nobody really says black people or Jews hate their own kind in the way people say women do.

"Misogynist" to describe someone is also a word thrown around and casually used a lot.

Men make no sense to me, at all. They are not easy to understand in their attraction to women like women are in their attraction to men.

r/FemmeThoughts Sep 03 '22

[vent] Why do only guys do this?


Why do men hate female lead characters and female lead roles but women don't hate on male lead characters and male lead roles?

An example is She Hulk and Marvel movies. The marvel memes subreddit is full of people posting memes about how mad men on the internet are at she hulk twerking vs how not mad they were about male characters dancing. These memes have over 50 thousand upvotes and are implying men have a problem with women.

The Alien movie had people worried it wouldn't be successful with a female lead.

Women are happy to watch, love and admire male leads in any type of movie and always have.

Many women have male role models too.

Do women in general like men more than men like women and in a more well rounded way?

I mean in recent times and through history too. What else could the difference represent except women liking men more?

I have also noticed how women welcome, praise and admire men doing female hobbies or jobs. Jeferee Star has a makeup empire, drag race is a success, etc. They are praised for the bare minimum often just for the novelty of being male.

But men have "boys clubs" like the police force. Women are held to higher standards and not praised but questioned the validity of their skills. Female footballers and female politicans are all trolled relentlessly online by men, rape and death threats. Drag queens are mainstream entertainment, women doing football are paid much less.

How to accept this and not become paranoid and hateful?

r/FemmeThoughts Aug 24 '22

Helen O’Hara says Hollywood’s early female directors reigned supreme. What went wrong?

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r/FemmeThoughts Aug 24 '22

Queen Protec’ the FEMME!

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r/FemmeThoughts Aug 15 '22

Tiffany Haddish used her $80,000 ‘Girls Trip’ pay-cheque to pay off her house, since she feared ‘being homeless again’

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r/FemmeThoughts Aug 04 '22

Canberrans to have access to free abortions as of mid-2023 under new ACT government commitment

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r/FemmeThoughts Aug 03 '22

[meta] Understanding Abortion Rights In Your Country | history of abortion in Canada & how you can stand up for reproductive rights (Podcast)


Apple Podcast | Spotify| Podbean

In this episode we're discussing the history of abortion rights in Canada and how you can help protect women, trans and non-conforming people’s right to bodily autonomy. This episode comes in the wake of USA's Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade - a horrific crime against human rights. Canada is often compared to the States. However when it comes to abortion rights we are vastly different. Canada currently does not have any legislation surrounding abortion (we need to keep it this way). Instead abortion is a form of health care (as it should be) that falls under Canada's Health Act. This does not make us perfect as abortion clinics are not widely accessible in every province. We need to hold our MP's and MPP's accountable for upholding the Health Act and increasing accessibility.

Although we are focusing on Canada's history and organizations we hope this episode will inspire you to research how you can support reproductive and human rights in your country. 


Action Canada for Sexual Health & Rights

Abortion Rights Coalition of Canada

Norma Scarborough Fund


Cover ContraceptiON


Birth Control Access for Manitoba

Sex [M]ed

Our Commons

Open Parliament

Planned Parenthood - Toronto

r/FemmeThoughts Aug 03 '22

[health] Birth Control - USA


Saw this and thought it might be of interest

Lemonaid Health Offers Access to Emergency Contraceptive

August 2, 2022

Lemonaid Health, a 23andMe-owned telehealth platform, will offer access to prescriptions for ella®, an emergency contraceptive. ella®  has shown to be effective at preventing pregnancy when taken within 5 days (120 hours) of unprotected sex. It is not used to end or terminate a pregnancy. 

This will add to Lemonaid Health’s offerings for reproductive health care services, which include prescriptions for birth control. Access to information about one’s health and access to healthcare are at the core of both 23andMe and Lemonaid Health. Indeed, in its earliest iteration, Lemonaid Health started in the United States by offering direct access to birth control. 

The decision to add prescriptions for ella® comes as access to important family planning options in the United States is being restricted. Although 23andMe and Lemonaid Health have been considering adding new options for family planning for some time, the recent Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade brings additional urgency for expanding access to reproductive health care services. 

ella® is an emergency contraception medication and should not be confused with medical or medicated abortion, which involves two drugs — mifepristone and misoprostol — taken to end a pregnancy. 

(You can find more information about ella® by visiting:  https://www.ella-now.com/all-you-need-to-know-about-taking-ella/.)

Patients in all 50 states and DC are currently eligible for this service through Lemonaid Health’s online doctor’s office and mail-order pharmacy after completing a consultation with a Lemonaid Health doctor or nurse practitioner. The total cost will be $75, which includes the consultation, and if appropriate, medication, and expedited shipping costs.

An eligible patient can be prescribed one pill with a two pill refill; customers who have been prescribed ella®  can return for subsequent prescriptions. The medication will be shipped the next business day via expedited mail.

Find out more here.

The post Lemonaid Health Offers Access to Emergency Contraceptive appeared first on 23andMe Blog.

r/FemmeThoughts Jul 24 '22

Maryna Viazovska, a Kyiv-born-and-raised Ukrainian mathematician, is the 2nd ever woman to win a Fields medal (the Nobel for mathematicians) for her work solving the sphere packing problem in eight dimensions.

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r/FemmeThoughts Jul 20 '22

Gwen Harwood was one of Australia’s finest poets – she was also one of the most subversive

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r/FemmeThoughts Jul 14 '22

Just venting college experience


Holding feminist values as something important to me and my relationships has actually made keeping friendships with other women (mostly straight white women) in college extremely difficult. They way that these women internalize and weaponize sexism against each other and actively support misogynistic men and silence other women is insane. A lot of the women like this also consider themselves feminists. I was made out to feel crazy for so long until I finally met a group of queer women and non-binary folks my junior year who also held the same values when it came to feminism. Especially w the overturn of roe. v wade it feels like there hasn’t actually been a ton of progress.

r/FemmeThoughts Jul 12 '22

Elia Green, @emumujuju

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r/FemmeThoughts Jul 11 '22

In 1909, Clara Lemlich galvanized young (predominantly Jewish) working class girls and set off what became known as the Uprising of the 20,000. The radical activist died 40 years ago, on July 12th, 1982.

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r/FemmeThoughts Jul 11 '22

The adolescent and atavistic appeal of patriarchy, in 28 words (with commentary)


Comment threads appear to be the place to go for workable, almost all-encompassing, political aphorisms.

Back in 2018, composer Frank Wilhoit, wrote a 414-word comment to a blog post.

His entire comment is entirely worth reading, but the heart of his short comment is his brilliant aphorism:

Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit:

There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.

30 words that entirely encapsulates all regressive politics, in all places, at all times.

Meanwhile, and much more recently here on reddit, /u/Kolchakk added this brilliant aphorism to a thread over on /r/MensLib

people expect men to have agency but not be responsible for anything; whereas the patriarchal expectation of women is to have no agency but be responsible for everything.

28 words this time. And as near-perfect a summation of the underlying and utterly unjust assumption baked in to the Patriarchal hierarchy as I’ve ever seen.

It makes the unjust nature of the system obvious and apparent but also captures why way, way, way too many men (who are thoroughly fucked over by the hierarchical nature of the system) don’t fight for a more equitable structure.

If I was encouraged to believe I could do as I wanted (ie, told I had agency) while simultaneously being told I wasn’t really responsible (read: accountable) for anything I did, I’d love the system that told me this stuff as well.

And I’d love the system even if that same system stuffed me into an objectively crappy life. Because agency without accountability is pretty much the Platonic ideal form of every adolescent power fantasy there is.

And fantasies that we want in our bones are much more compelling and powerful than alternative narratives that suggest life could be better for everyone but that don’t have that atavistic, love-the-fantasy-without-question-or-thought appeal.

Of course, brilliant aphorisms don’t help overcome deadly and dangerous world-views. But there is utility in having pithy summations nonetheless.

r/FemmeThoughts Jul 08 '22

[vent] Can we talk about how FDS is making $4k+ on transphobia? And why is Reddit allowing it?


Reddit has to take sides. LGBT community can't be in a place where they're actively promoting and making bank on transphobia (mainly, also has other bigotry)

That sub is toxic hellhole of misinformation, blatant hatred against trans people (sending hugs! I'm so sorry).

They're keeping the sub private (began last month I think) only to open it at times their followers know, post podcasts and patreon information and now want $10k. They're getting $4k per month from their 700+ patreon subscribers.

How is this acceptable? What the fuck is happening?

r/FemmeThoughts Jul 04 '22

Reflections on deep patriarchy after watching the documentary, *Keep sweet: pray and obey*, by Emma Lindsay

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r/FemmeThoughts Jul 03 '22

What to do when a rando guy is dancing up on you?


Hey everyone, I had a really stressful experience last night.

I'm not someone who goes to clubs, or anything like that. I've been to a number of Indian weddings in my family and have never had this happen to me. But yday it did.

I was having fun, dancing with my friend and her cousin.

A guy comes behind me, first he like leans on my shoulder and I just thought ah he's drunk. But then he puts his hand around my waist and presses up against me. I feel something I should not be feeling, his face is near my shoulder. I moved away, this is hard in a long lengha skirt. He moves his hand off me put is still pressed up, he tries to put his hand back on my waist and face on my shoulder. I keep trying to move away and he doesnt go away. He keeps shouting "HI!" to me. I try lean into my friend and her cousin to warn them this guy is being creepy but he comes between us and is like "HELLO! HI!!" when I tried.

In the end I left the dance floor shaken and freaked out. I've never had anything like this happen to me and I have no idea how to handle it.

When I told the cousin what happened she said she noticed he was doing it to another relative as well. When I told my friend (she was tipsy/drunk) she said she knew I was uncomfortable but didnt know what was happening.

I just idk, I keep seeing his face, he lives a few mins away from me and I just pray to god he doesn't remember me. I was too scared to go back on the dancefloor after that so missed out on the last song :(

Tldr: Guy dances up against me from behind. Never had this happen to me. It was unwanted and scared me, how deal?

This was an indian wedding, the guy wasnt Indian and maybe he thought it was like a club? Is this common in clubs? If so what the fuck??

r/FemmeThoughts Jul 04 '22

[support] Middle 20's/+30's women of reddit: how you deal with your body changes?


Hello strangeers

I'm 27 y/o woman and my body has change and I don't like it. I feel like I don't want it anymore.

Since the quarentine my body change a lot. I gaing some weight because of the lack of movement and stress. I had several break outs all over my face but I started a diet and begun to do excercise regulary and actually I lost some weight and even when I feel better than before I still feeling that I don't want this body.

I'm not overweight and I don't have break outs anymore. I'm stronger and capable to do a lot more things than before but I look myself in the mirrow and I'm not confortable and I'm feeling bad because I don't feel good about my body.

I know I should be easier on my. I understand that my body is not going to look as anybody else but I can't figure it out how I can make me feel confortable on my skin againg.

I think I should talk this with a psychologist.