r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 9d ago Hugz Defeated

Discussion Got called an abomination

4.2k Upvotes

Was called an abomination by the kid who sits next to me in one of my high school classes because I'm queer. He insisted that it's not his fault he's homophobic, it's just his religion. I don't know how to cope or what to do. I just want to curl up and cry.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 15d ago Narwhal Salute

Discussion WHAT DO YOU CALL A MALE WITCH?

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6.7k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 12d ago

Discussion therapist told me the feminist movement is ruining society

3.4k Upvotes

the title says it all. i have a female therapist who thinks the feminist movement is "destroying families" and that a "woman is a woman and a man is a man, a woman can't try to do a man's job".

i don't align with any of her beliefs. feminism has helped me find myself and frankly saved my life. the saddest part is i've stuck with this therapist for so long because i can't afford any other help.

she helped my mental health a lot at my worst but things went downhill when she started opening up about her personal beliefs. i had literal COVID twice and she told me it was "psychoterrorism" and to not believe everything i see on TV. the worst was when she said feminism and the rise in autism are linked, that women not doing their jobs in the household has led to a spike in "neglected children". i have family members on the spectrum and her ignorance towards the subject makes me think she's never encountered actual autistic individuals or worked with neurodivergent people. the fact that someone who is in a position of giving people advice is spreading such misinformation is downright dangerous. there's not much i can do since she's in another country so i guess i'll just try and find affordable help somewhere else, which also seems nearly impossible.

this subreddit has been a safe place for me and i hope my story isn't too out of place. thanks to anyone who read this :)

edit: wow i'm astonished by all of the support!! i'm trying to answer and read as many comments as i can but if i'm not able to reply I apologize in advance, I will do my best.

I have found some great therapists in my area and am cutting it off with the one mentioned in this post today. I am going to warn people against her especially people I know have had sessions with her. I've sent an email to the national ethics commission in the country she practices in. I hope no one has to deal with her again. but I have not given up on finding help! Thank you again to everyone who opened my eyes and also for all of the compassion & resources ❤️

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 16d ago

Discussion Pregnancy test done without my knowledge by clinic??!!??

3.8k Upvotes

Fellow witches, I went to urgent care today and had to pee in a cup. I am having terrible lower back pain and wanted to rule out a kidney infection. As I’m going through my paperwork I see that they ran a pregnancy test on my urine?!?! They did not tell me or ask me. This feels incredibly invasive and, quite frankly, in today’s political climate seems downright dangerous. I don’t really involve myself with American Medical Doctors so I don’t know if I’m overreacting or what. Thoughts?

Edit: wow everyone thanks for the engagement. I am really learning from this discussion. There have been a couple of less than safe space comments but everyone is really being great! Thanks to (most) of you for continuing to keep this a safe space. I will definitely do my part to educate women especially from my experience.

ANOTHER EDIT: MY ABUSIVE PARTNER IS NOW ACCUSING ME AND F ALL SORTS OF THINGS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO NOW WHAT I DID TO REQUIRE A PREGNANCY TEST someone literally brought this up in a comment I tried searching for it but I can’t find it THIS IS REAL STUFF WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT

We need to inform ourselves.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 25d ago All-Seeing Upvote Go Vote!

Discussion I live next to a Planned Parenthood (in an abortion legal state)

6.5k Upvotes

Some "pro-lifers" are having a vigil tonight, and OOOO man, I have a full two boxes of cat litter I am so tempted to throw at them... They could literally do anything else to actually help people, but they spend so much time outside the pp.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 24d ago Helpful Helpful (Pro)

Discussion Why don’t doctors test hormone levels in women (of all ages) more frequently? A man can get his testosterone checked at any time! I walk into a OB’s office and they (and Dr. Google) say our levels fluctuate too often to test. Wtf 🤬, so they just don’t test us women?

4.9k Upvotes

As a woman who has had miscarriages, I’d like my levels tested so they can possibly see a trend. Why is this so damn hard to understand? This is what we do in medicine. I’m a nurse btw. If I tell a doc my patient’s sodium level is 145, they’ll just look at me like okay, but is that going up or down? Because good doctors look at trends NOT INDIVIDUAL NUMBERS. News flash! Woman should not have to have three miscarriages before a doctor says, okay, I guess we’ll look at you. Like wtf!? And this isn’t only male doctors but female doctors too! How can they do this to women? Why? Why is our society okay with women suffering through this crap?

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 6d ago

Discussion I’m being hounded by a Jesuit collage

1.3k Upvotes

I, 16(f), have been getting multiple emails, and even a call or two, every day from this Jesuit collage in Ohio. They want me to come visit their campus, to “learn and grow from their practices”. They have not acknowledged the multiple emails saying I was NOT interested. What can I do to stop them? And, not a single female recruiter has emailed me. Every single one of them is a man, and they are talking to me like I am a dumb dog. “Come on! Come visit our beautiful campus, where you can learn and grow in a safe environment, and find gods light in education” like bitch, I’m gonna start burning and hissing as soon as I take a single god damn step on campus. My previous emails stating I was in NO WAY interested in their Jesus loving cult (I said it in a nicer way, cus I don’t them fucking with me if they even can) have not worked. What can I do to get them to leave me along?

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 10d ago

Discussion Client quoted scripture to me at work, what is a good and appropriate response?

1.2k Upvotes

Hi witches <3 My husband and our 2 kids recently moved to a small town, the kind where most everyone knows everyone. I have a job at a financial institution, only been there for 3 months. Yesterday an older gentleman and his wife came to my till, the conversation started with friendly small chat about the weather. He then said, 'I haven't seen you here before, are you new?' I was friendly and said yes and that my family recently moved to the area. He asked if I was married and I told him I was.... to which he replied, 'you're to young to be married!' And he started quoting scripture at me!!! I was shocked and embarrassed. I didn't say anything. I think his wife sensed my discomfort and tried to laugh it off to lighten the moment. I then said something along the lines of 'sorry, I'm not familiar with that' and finished their banking needs. This morning I'm sipping my coffee and thinking about it again.. should I have said more? What would you witches have done in that situation? I don't want to jeopardize my new job by being mouthy at clients.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 2d ago Silver Gold

Discussion This sub helped me realize something was really wrong, now I’m passing it along

1.7k Upvotes

I’ve seen a lot of normalization of period pain lately which is awesome! But not enough discussion about the actual bleeding, so let’s talk.

I’ve always had heavy periods. In high school I was put on the pill because I was bleeding twice a month like I’d been shot. I don’t tolerate the pill well though so I haven’t taken it in years. I just deal with my period bullshit.

A few months ago I saw a post on here about how this person was bleeding “so heavily” that they went through 5 super plus tampons. “Wait, what!?” I thought. Turns out that an most people with uteruses will go through 3-6 tampons a day while they’re menstruating. My mind was blown. I can easily go through 12 super plus tampons on a heavy day and STILL need to change my pants at least once. Menstural cups and the like are a complete joke for me. So I confirmed with my mom, and yeah it turns out that soaking a tampon in an hour is not normal and she said I should go talk to my doctor.

Well life is busy so it took me a while to get in there, but finally yesterday I went to see her and she prescribed me this medication called “Tranexamic acid” which is a fast acting clotting medication used to treat heavy menstruation, among other things. Conveniently my period started yesterday so I took my first doses yesterday.

Holy shit witches. This medication has changed my life. It has almost entirely stopped my bleeding. Is this what normal periods are like? I can actually leave the house on a heavy day without anxiety! I might be able to start using reusable period products or even just regular size tampons!

So now I’m passing this along to you. To the person who posted the initial comment, thank you! And if you’re in my situation, there are options for you! I wish I knew about this years ago. Go talk to your doctor, and see what they recommend. The improvement to my quality of life is just incredible.

Edit to add: similarly, if you’re like me and always cold, go get checked out. Turns out I was anemic too! It’s not normal to always be cold.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 20d ago Take My Energy Bless Up (Pro)

Discussion How many of you are Marxists?

1.6k Upvotes

I have recently begun to understand the deep connection between patriarchy and capitalism.

For example: When I realized that Republicans/"conservatives" couldn't care less about life (which was already obvious) but that their actual concern is keeping working and poor mothers as baby-making machines so that there is a continuous supply of poor, cheap, and desperate labor.

Or how the most undervalued and underpaid jobs are care-taking positions (such as a CNA or a stay-at-home parent), which are female-dominated (because capitalists can get away with pushing legislation that fails women or underpaying women because of the "market value.")

Feminism and the destruction of capitalism are intertwined in many, many ways. Thoughts?

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 1d ago

Discussion How empowering is to spit on your abusers grave?

654 Upvotes

My rapist died week ago, my bestie said we should spit on it? Should we or would you?

Should we do some magic ritual or witchy stuff too?

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 3h ago Silver

Discussion Growing out my grey hair and my mom won’t stop criticizing me

495 Upvotes

I’m 34 years old and I’ve been going grey since I was 16. Everyone in my family on both sides went grey early, so it’s genetic. I’ve been dying my hair since then without any breaks.

My mother has always told me to dye my hair to hide the grey or else I will be ugly. Whenever my roots were showing, she’d yell at me and ask my why I’ve been neglecting my looks. I’m very average looking and far from a stunner. I’ve been with my partner for years and he told me that doesn’t care about if my hair is grey.

It’s been a huge insecurity for me for years. I feared that I would be ugly, or treated differently because of my hair.

I am now a new mom with an infant girl and it made me think a lot about how we raise girls and young women. I never want her to feel insecure about her looks or that she needs to change herself to be perceived as beautiful. I thought a lot about it and I decided that I wanted to ditch the dye and just go grey. I hated feeling like my roots were showing, seeing the line of demarcation, and I just didn’t like the way the dye looked anymore. I want to see my natural silver shine through.

I went on IG and saw a lot of young women with grey hair and they look fantastic. I’m no where near as beautiful as them, but that’s okay because I’m not a model. I just wanted to see other young women with grey hair and feel confident.

I haven’t dyed my hair since July 2022. The process is so hard. It’s also very isolating because I don’t have any peer support for those going through the same thing. I’m having a really difficult time with it and I don’t have much support. My husband said he really loves my grey, but he’s never said anything negative about my looks. My friend also told me she likes it, but again, she’s my friend and I don’t think she would say it looks bad. However my mom has criticized me so much over it and we’ve even gotten in arguments over my hair being fucking naturally grey. She had literally yelled at me and gotten angry that I’ve told her I’m not dying it anymore.

Today my mom came over to my new home (we just moved) and I was showing her all the renovations we did. I could tell she wasn’t paying attention and she just was looking at me and scowling. I was talking about my kitchen and she said “This is the style of an old woman” and I said “What? How is this kitchen an old woman style?” And she said “No! Your hair! Go dye it! Or else your husband will go find a younger woman!”

That moment I felt like a shrivelled up troll. I held it together until she left and now I’m just sulking. Going grey is already so hard. Being told I’m ugly by my own mom just makes it even harder. People don’t understand how much of a challenge this is. I know that people are going to think I’m my daughter’s grandmother. I know it might impact my career opportunities. But I can’t just keep dying it forever like my mom does. It’s not sustainable physically, mentally or financially. This is something I want to show her that you can love yourself and be confident in who you are. It’s also a form of radical self acceptance. I even tell my mom that she’s just jealous because I’m free and am not bound to dying my hair every 2 weeks. My hair is also much softer and shinier at the roots now. I’d like to tone with or use purple shampoo once it’s more grown own to get it to look better, but for now I’m really trying my best to make it look okay.

TL;DR - I’m growing out my grey hair and am not hiding my roots anymore, and my mom is criticizing me for it dying my hair and is constantly calling me ugly for it.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 6d ago

Discussion trans witch, just... talking, please take time to say hi, I'd appreciate it

514 Upvotes

Hiya, I'm a trans girl from Kansas, I make art, I cast spells and I'm just.. me I guess.

Y'all relate to monsters more than the champions that defeat them or their victims? I'm Medusa, I'm Carmilla, I'm Frankenstein's Monster, I'm Buffalo Bill, I'm Cesare, I'm Doctor Caligri, I'm the monster. I don't know where I'm going with this, maybe it's my mind justifying why people have tried to hurt me so much.

Just stressed, please say hi, and even if you don't say anything, have a good day for me alright?

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 18d ago Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote LOVE!

Discussion Other BIPOC members?

1.2k Upvotes

Hi all,

I was just curious about how many BIPOC members there were in this sub and whether you feel 100% fully comfortable/supported all the time in this sub?

I'm a member myself, and while I feel supported myself for the most part, sometimes I'll see a comment here and there that while not necessarily breaking the rules can be a little iffy in making me think, "this is very much an ethnocentric" view/ fails to account for BIPOCs/or leans into stereotypes of certain communities when discussing misogyny or the treatment of women.

They're very rare but when they do happen, it feels like I don't know if I can say anything or be labeled sensitive bc they technically don't break the rules and bc I also suspect the sub might be majority White (not in a White people are all racist, but White people's experiences are different from POC's even within fairly welcoming communities like this sub).

I hope I'm not offending anyone (and this isn't meant to cause outrage) but I just wanted to get other BIPOC's thoughts and have a genuine discussion? Feel free to delete this if you like, mods.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 25d ago All-Seeing Upvote Wholesome Seal of Approval Helpful Wholesome

Discussion Hot Take: Calling someone a Karen upholds the patriarchy

2.2k Upvotes

I had this thought after submitting a detailed complaint to a company I purchased a product from. It's the second time in a row I've had to contanct them about the condition the item was in. And I wondered if I was being a Karen. I wonder this about myself a lot, but I also experience a lot of imposter syndrome. But this isn't really about me. It's about the idea that I, and women in general, have a voice in my head that causes me to question myself when I have a legitimate complaint.

We know that comes from being socialized to shut up and look pretty. But it gets reinforced when we use a typically feminine name to describe someone who is being unnecessarily rude, micromanagey, and superior; someone who makes problems where there are none. Because women in general are considered to make problems where there are none by the patriarchy.

We also don't have a typically masculine name equivalent. I know people have tried to use names like Chad or Brad to describe men like this, but it doesn't hit as hard and we all know it. Men will still be called Karens instead.

There's something in that line between what is stereotypically supposed to be a Karen, and real women's real complaints and how they're treated by patriarchal society that just doesn't sit well with me. What do you all think?

Edit: Thank you to everyone who brought up the original racial/anti-racist component. I am sorry to everyone it may have hurt to have that absent from the beginning. I knew it at one point long ago, but it has changed so much (in my experience) that I overlooked it. It's clearly very important that we continue to listen to BIPOC and remember where things like this come from.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy Oct 28 '22 Silver Gold

Discussion Thank you for NOT using Native beliefs as Witchcraft

5.8k Upvotes

I was raised with Inuit belief and culture, and I’ve noticed I haven’t seen many, if any witches on here using native practices and saying it’s witchcraft. Using eagle feathers, doing “rain dances” ect. I usually dont speak out about it anymore as people would yell at me about how it is witchcraft not native, they’re not doing anything bad, ect. And I just felt really happy seeing basically NO native beliefs being whitewashed on here. If you want to do a native practice, do your research, talk to people from that culture and DONT CALL IT WITCHCRAFT, witchcraft is it’s own belief systems, call it what it is, a native practice/belief. Name the tribe. Im all for sharing my culture, but it’s still MY culture, not yours to play pretend and disrespect with (obviously no one means to disrespect but some practices are…finicky to say the least)

Edit to add the “belief systems” as people have pointed out witchcraft is an umbrella term for many practices, much like how aboriginal/native is an umbrella term for many different cultures.

Edit: wow, I didn’t expect this to get as much attention as it did! I’m apologizing in advance if I don’t answer any questions as there are just so many comments! I am going to put a small plug for Inuit businesses so if you want to buy something you can support actual Inuit people (I don’t have a business so I’m not on it incase anyone was worried I was trying to just plug myself)!

https://www.qia.ca/where-to-shop-this-holiday-season-to-support-inuit-businesses/

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 6h ago

Discussion I am an Autistic male, who is attracted to men, but not interested in sex. I don't have a safe community.

905 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 7d ago Silver

Discussion Trans Rights and Queer Rights Are Human Rights

1.7k Upvotes

This happened the night before Transgender Day of Remembrance. in the city i live in.

This was not an accident.

This is a direct result of politicians spewing hatred towards trans people, and other members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Politicians like DeSantis, Trump, Abbot, Boebert, etc... as well as prominent media figures like JKR, Joe Rogan, Matt Walsh, etc...

They literally have blood on their hands.

5 people killed (so far), and 18 people in the hospital, many of them in critical condition.

Trans rights and queer rights are human rights.

transgender #queercommunity #queerpride #transgenderrights #humanrights

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 4d ago

Discussion It feels like when it comes to interests/hobbies- women have to pander to men’s interests more than the other way around, especially in terms of dating

418 Upvotes

This may be an inaccurate observation, but I find in media and in real life we have to pander to men’s interests or what’s stereotypically seen as guy interests/hobbies. For example in films and shows female characters are seen as cool and desirable if they know how to fix a car or drink beer or knows how to use a gun. In pop culture it’s now gaming or anime and music that’s ‘masculine’ etc. (again not trying to generalise however I feel these especially in the past were male dominated interests) Also considered feminine is looked down upon and mocked. Personally in reality particularly in dating, guys have seldom shown interest or curiosity in what I enjoy that isn’t a part of their interests, but are very adamant to want me to show all the interest and curiosity in their’s. Now there’s nothing wrong with desiring people who have a common interest in you, but to me I think it’s been socialised that womens interests are given less significance and it’s mainly about pandering to guys and should accommodate that. Any thoughts on this?

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 8d ago

Discussion I’m sick of seeing all the ‘spiritual baddies’ and spiritual tradwives on Twitter proclaiming motherhood as being a complete woman

853 Upvotes

As a spiritual person who also on my own journey with the Devine feminine and masculine. I can tell you this for anyone who follows spirituality and esotericism, that all these things are a choice and you can do what ever you want that makes you feel happy and fulfilled in your own way. That’s the point of it, spirituality isn’t supposed to force or expect anyone to be a certain way just because ‘we were designed that way and it’s ‘bad’ for us if we don’t go with what dear Mother Nature ordains us to do.’ Bc I have these thoughts within myself and know that motherhood is completely 100% a choice, the main factor of spirituality is literally free thinking and freeing your mind. Childfreehood is literally another aspect of freeing your mind also ‘feminity’ doesn’t have to involve pregnancy and children, no way. The true Devine feminine does not force or make you adhere to any fixed boxes of feminity. As feminist be who you want to be. Live your own life. Listen to yourself and only trust yourself, not other white women on Twitter, they will ruin your life if you don’t do what you want to do. You can still learn things the universe shows you but don’t let anyone pressure you into anything.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy Oct 04 '22 Silver Helpful

Discussion I thought y'all would appreciate this; percent of people who feel safe walking around at night, men vs women

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10.0k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 23d ago Helpful Wholesome Timeless Beauty

Discussion Dear Trans witches

2.4k Upvotes

My 51 year old husband just came out to me as trans. He's admitted that he's still processing it so I don't know what changes if any might happen.

My question to you all is this: What kind of support would you want / did you get that was helpful? We've been together 25 years and I just want to do my best to support the wonderful human that I married.

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy Oct 15 '22

Discussion “Being picky” while looking for a partner.

2.7k Upvotes

Hey witches,

I don’t usually post here but I wanted to share with you a recent conversation I had with my male friend which had me going on a quest for his audacity and wondering if I was looking for too much.

So we were at a cafe, catching up what happened in our lives, and as I recently ended my 7 years relationship and am now trying to find sense of myself, we started talking on my partner requirements.

The thing I mentioned were that he has to be ok with me possibly earning more than him (because I have a good going on high paying job in the IT industry); that I’d like open, normal communication (which I always try to maintain) in a relationship; that he has to share household chores with me because I am neither his mom nor his maid; that he has to be an ally or at least open minded since I don’t want my friends to be uncomfortable around him; and that I’d like it if he had the same outlook on life and forming a family if we’re going to share our life together.

And then, he tells me that I can’t be picky. Like what? Is that being picky? Isn’t that just trying to find someone with whom I’ll be happy? Because I doubt it I’d be happy if my friends were uncomfortable around the person I’m sharing my life with. And I definitely won’t be happy having to do everything by myself at home.

Was I wrong here? I just think that trying to find someone with whom I want to spend my life with is finding someone who shares the same values as you do.

Edit: I am absolutely amazed by each and every one of you. Thank you so much for the support, and helping me stay true to myself and my beliefs. I wish you all happiness in any way or form you want it. 🍂💞

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy Oct 26 '22

Discussion Taking the patriarchy out of wedding ceremonies. What do you think is the best idea for feminist ways to walk down the aisle?

998 Upvotes

I was hoping for some input from my fellow witches! I’m getting married soon and obviously I don’t like the whole “father gives me away to another man like I’m property” idea. So I’ve come up with two ideas and I don’t know what one I like best. One: groom and I walk up the side aisles at the same time escorted by our families and leave just the two of us down the center aisle. I like this because to me it signifies our families support that brought us to this point in our lives and upon leaving that we are our own family now. Two: I walk down the center aisle alone collecting flowers from important women in my life, building my bouquet as I go along. I like this idea because it gives me the opportunity to highlight the strength and love these women have brought to my life. Idk what to do. What idea do you all think is better? Do you have any other ideas? How have you changed wedding traditions to support your values? Thank you all in advance for your input ❤️

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 12d ago

Discussion Planning My Wedding Hurts My Heart

367 Upvotes

I (26f) and my fiancé (23M) are getting married anywhere from a year and a half to two years from now. We’re still very early in the planning phase and deciding things like the guest list, venue, time of year and stuff first.

A big part of the guest list planning is obviously bridesmaids and groomsmen. My fiancé is a bit of a social butterfly, as much as he would deny it, and has a lot of good, close friends. To the point where it was kinda hard for him to pick who would and wouldn’t be a groomsman.

Me, not so much. I have one close best friend from HS that I try to see a couple times a year despite us living like 300 miles apart. I have some friends here but it has always been an uphill battle for me. As much as I do love the friends I have, I never feel like any of them become the level of close to me that I would like. Not sure whether that’s my fault or not.

I have a close friend and he lives in Canada. I’ve broached the topic of him being one of my bridesmaids because who cares about gender tbh and he would love to, but the only problem there is he has extreme anxiety and there is a good chance he might not be able to come due to that.

In order to match the number of groomsmen my fiancé wants I’ll need to include some friends who I barely spend time with, especially one on one, even though I do love them. I’m even considering making my brothers girlfriend one of my bridesmaids since they’re very serious.

Idk all this just opens up old wounds regarding my lack of close friends. No one has ever been as good a friend to me as my bestie from HS. Not even close.

This has always been a sore spot for me and it just hurts and I want to know I’m not alone in this pain I guess. If any older or more experienced witches have insight on how to overcome this feeling or relatable experiences to share I would be happy to read them.

Sorry for the rant. Just wanted this off my chest. Blessed be ✨

PS if you have any ideas for witchy/nontraditional wedding ceremonies lmk!

Edit: as this post is winding down I just wanted to add a HUGE thank you to everyone who commented and shared their thoughts/ideas/stories etc. You’ve all made me smile, laugh and given me so many great ideas to consider that I love. I feel so much better about all this now with your reassurances and I can’t wait to share all these comments with my fiancé.

This is why this is my favorite subreddit!