r/facepalm 9d ago Silver 3 Wholesome 2 Helpful 2

God forbid we let our children learn about things that actually exist. 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

Post image
89.8k Upvotes

5.9k

u/AthenasOwl1979 9d ago Helpful

My first day of school, my teacher didn't say a word, just handed me those 4 objects.

3.3k

u/everyoneshout 8d ago Silver To The Stars

I remember learning about how the Titanic was loaded up with dinosaurs, but sank on its way from earth to the moon. Such a sad first day of school.

783

u/FoolishMacaroni 8d ago

Oh, so that’s why the dinosaurs went extinct!

546

u/CalicoCrapsocks 8d ago Helpful

Noah, get the shuttle.

256

u/omegasaga 8d ago

Noah returns, grabs a pistol, "moon's haunted" and gets back in the shuttle.

109

u/MenosElLso 8d ago

Moons haunted? Always has been. 🌎🧑‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀

7

u/gotta_do_it_big 8d ago

There are nazis on the flipside u know. Saw it on tv.

→ More replies

28

u/stinkiepussie 8d ago

"What?" - Ham, probably

→ More replies

20

u/Sheerkal 8d ago

Imagine a ghost picks a Biblical icon like Noah. Would be a hell of a season.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

20

u/tbass1965 8d ago

Lies! The dinosaurs all fell off the edge of the earth!

→ More replies
→ More replies

72

u/sumunsolicitedadvice 8d ago

How did you understand the story if they didn’t give you a globe?? That was the first thing I got on day one—literally, as I was stepping off the bus.

→ More replies
→ More replies

373

u/-CoachMcGuirk- 9d ago

I was in the gifted program so I was handed a copy of the JFK assassination on the first day of pre-school

98

u/rudestlink 8d ago

That was impressive given you started preschool in August 1963.

30

u/amibeingadick420 8d ago

And those books were stored in the School Book Depository in Dallas, and perused by one of their employees.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

136

u/Holmes02 8d ago

Wow you believe in objects? The brainwashing continues. Smh my head

49

u/AthenasOwl1979 8d ago

it's objects all the way down

→ More replies
→ More replies

73

u/FordAndFun 8d ago

“Which one of these belongs to you?”

I selected the photograph of the Titanic

“It’s you. You’re the chosen one.”

→ More replies
→ More replies

10.7k

u/ozymandias_1984 9d ago

Is...the titanic not existing/sinking an actual conspiracy?????

4.7k

u/ymew 9d ago

I've heard conspiracies that it was sunk on purpose to kill off some important people on board

4.1k

u/B-is-for-beer 9d ago

Even if that were true, the photographs should still be real

3.1k

u/discerningpervert 9d ago edited 9d ago Silver Gold Wholesome Take My Energy

I hear they even a movie about it

EDIT: There's also a sequel

1.4k

u/RafIk1 9d ago Silver Coin Gift Snek

I hear they even a movie about it

I mean,who could forget this famous scene...

https://imgur.com/a/UqZSbVe

327

u/Talking_Head 9d ago

I will say though, his boobs are miraculous.

102

u/RafIk1 9d ago

Aren't they great?

44

u/Talking_Head 9d ago

Kate and I are 2 years apart in age. I can assure anyone who reads this—her breasts were (and likely still are) fucking amazing. And Arnie also has a beautiful chest. Either way, we win.

11

u/NerdModeCinci 8d ago

Arnie was voted Ms Universe before so I’m going with him

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

260

u/AffectionateCrazy156 9d ago

How have I never seen this clip before. That's fucking amazing!

98

u/EvilLibrarians 9d ago

They have such chemistry!

→ More replies
→ More replies

91

u/Is12345aweakpassword 9d ago

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should

→ More replies

44

u/kangcore 9d ago

blursed

→ More replies

330

u/serealport 9d ago edited 8d ago

There is also a titanic 2 which one could argue is even better than the original.

One would be wrong but one could still argue.

For the record the sequel I was thinking of is this one https://youtu.be/bKn-NdqSkU4

105

u/bbcversus 9d ago

It was definitely one of the movies, can’t argue with that.

→ More replies

46

u/Talking_Head 9d ago

Well, the soundtrack and nude scenes were far better anyway. And it scored an 8.5 on IMDB so there is that as well. I know it was 90%+ on Rotten Tomatoes so I am always confused when people haven’t seen it.

→ More replies
→ More replies

72

u/-raeyhn- 9d ago edited 8d ago

and 3, count that 3! animated adaptations.

Titanic: The Legend Goes On

The Legend of the Titanic

In Search of the Titanic or Tentacolino - spin-off sequal starring the giant dog-faced octopus that saved the Titanic and ALL the people on board in The Legend of the Titanic... after it was sabotaged by gangster sharks and evil whalers... I wish I was kidding

Although they do call it a legend...

21

u/Tylendal 9d ago

The theory I heard is that whoever wrote and/or greenlit that movie must have been unaware that the sinking of the Titanic was a real event.

It's the only explanation that makes sense.

→ More replies
→ More replies

35

u/SpezEditsMyComments 9d ago

I think you a word

→ More replies

69

u/King-Cobra-668 9d ago

I think some say it wasn't actually "the Titanic" that sunk but another boat

42

u/smallangrynerd 9d ago

It was an insurance scam, or something?

→ More replies

42

u/moonsun1987 8d ago

I think some say it wasn't actually "the Titanic" that sunk but another boat

There was a copy pasta that said Avril Lavigne isn't actually Avril Lavigne but it is so surprisingly tame like they say Avrile Lavigne switched out before she recorded her first song or something like that so like well even if this were true this is the Avril we have always known...

Like even if there was another boat but if that boat never sailed and this boat sailed then for all we care this is the Titanic.

20

u/WadeWelles 8d ago

There was another boat, a sister ship. I think it was a hospital ship during ww1 or ww2. But to your point, if the labels were switched at birth what material difference would it make?

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

88

u/timallen445 9d ago

But how many first grade class rooms have pictures of the Titanic in plain view?

117

u/Shikaku 9d ago

I don't think I've ever seen a picture of thr Titanic in a classroom.

I live in the place that built the fucking thing, too

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

58

u/DJOldskool 9d ago

The one I read when I was younger was that it was for insurance fraud. Also one where it was actually the Titanic's sister ship that was sunk for the insurance fraud.

Wasn't any decent evidence for either.

10

u/Herecomestheblades 8d ago

heard the one where the titanic was actual the Olympic disguised as the titanic and was supposed to be sunk and have a pick up ship close by, but the ships were out of position for a quick pick up. something along those lines, it was something on tubi

→ More replies
→ More replies

201

u/Redstoneprime 9d ago

So, some people think that they someone put the iceberg there just to have the Titanic crash into it?

212

u/Intrepid_School_5402 9d ago

Maybe they will say the ship hit it on purpose.

Kind of an expensive way to kill someone, when you can just hire a hitman.

181

u/solonit 9d ago

Iirc people fell off the ship all the time back in the day, if you want to get rid of someone from a transatlantic trip it’s definitely easier to just toss them overboard.

116

u/other_usernames_gone 9d ago

Or poison the food.

If you have enough control over the Titanic to get the captain to steer into an iceberg you could plant a waiter/waitress to poison someone's food.

41

u/Redtwooo 9d ago

Obviously they poisoned someone and then sunk the ship to get rid of the evidence

→ More replies

62

u/Glass_Memories 9d ago

People still fall off ships and cruise companies aren't very helpful when it comes to dealing with cases.

https://www.cruiselawnews.com/2017/03/articles/disappearances/fbi-releases-new-video-regarding-amy-lynn-bradley-who-disappeared-from-rhapsody-of-the-seas/

Also, a lot of sexual assault happens on cruise ships and they aren't very helpful there either.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/cruises/2022/08/10/cruise-ship-sexual-assault-what-to-do/10198709002/?gnt-cfr=1

In 2006 the organization International Cruise Victims was formed and after 5 congressional hearings the Cruise Vessel Safety and Security Act of 2010 was passed. Know your rights under CVSSA: https://www.rainn.org/articles/crime-cruise-ships

20

u/Scorpion1024 8d ago

Prior to the discovery there was an expectation of finding the wreckage in one piece. Survivors had testified to seeing it break in two as it sunk, but the White Star company did everything it could to discredit them and bury their statements. Didn’t want to be subject to lawsuits and investigations for all the design flaws.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

91

u/iamricardosousa 9d ago

"The man who funded the building of the titanic, J. P. Morgan, cancelled his long-awaited journey just hours before its proposed departure,” the meme reads. “3 of the wealthiest men on earth, whom  were against the creation of the federal reserve bank, happened to be invited aboard for its maiden voyage (John Aster, Isador Strauss & Benjamin Guggenheim)"

This was the theory, killing those 3, receive the insurance money and go fort with the creation of the creation of the federal reserve bank, but according to Reuters fact check team, it was deemed false.

65

u/Megane_Senpai 9d ago

Yeah of course it was false. Think about it, it was a very luxury ship, one of its kind, so the most wealthy people want to secure a first class in its first departure is totally normal.

48

u/Wobbelblob 9d ago

Absolutely. If we get a passenger ship that can do a round trip around earth in space or can do a trip to the moon, you can bet your ass that a lot of very wealthy people will be on board.

30

u/RafIk1 9d ago

Unless they are flying in their personal giant dick-rockets.....

14

u/iamricardosousa 9d ago

Centuries go by but dick measuring will be dick measuring, only the way it's measured changed. We just went from boats to rockets. Curious to see what's gonna be used next. Trips to the center of the Earth?

→ More replies
→ More replies

19

u/hilldo75 9d ago

*three of it's kind, the Titanic, Olympic, and Britannic were sister ships.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

39

u/theProffPuzzleCode 9d ago

With no guarantee of killing the person you intended to kill

44

u/Intrepid_School_5402 9d ago

Exact. If I wanted to make it look like an accident, I would just hire some goons to throw the target overboard in the middle of the night. Sinking the whole ship is a complete overkill. And not even as effective.

14

u/colorcorrection 9d ago

Imagine creating this entire conspiracy to build the most expensive and luxurious cruise ship of its time specifically as a plot to kill a handful of people by crashing it... Only to have them survive and show up at your front door a week later.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

64

u/LurkerInSpace 9d ago

You've got a lot of joke answers, but the actual conspiracy theory is that the ship that sunk was actually the Olympic - the Titanic's sister ship which had been damaged in an earlier accident - as part of an insurance scam.

It still doesn't quite stack up for various reasons (not least of which that the captain of the imposter-Titanic would need to be in on it, and he died in the event).

29

u/CedarWolf 9d ago

It still doesn't quite stack up for various reasons

Including things like the Olympic's design was changed and refitted because it had been damaged. The two weren't identical ships, merely similar.

18

u/Biodeus 9d ago

I love the theory, it’s really fun and interesting, but looking at shipwreck pictures and pictures of the titanic and Olympic, you can see that the upper decks are totally different, and the shipwreck pictures are identical to the Titanic while being very different from the Olympic.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

37

u/piss_artist 9d ago

Icebergs were much more affordable back then. My granpap bought one on his cobbler's salary straight out of the orphanage. Today they're nigh impossible to find, let alone to afford. .

→ More replies
→ More replies

80

u/Montecristo_No2 9d ago

Obama should have done more about that, he was suspiciously inactive after it sank

57

u/dedokta 9d ago

I heard he wasn't even in the Whitehouse when it happened. Where the hell was he???

19

u/FangoriouslyDevoured 9d ago

Probably too busy musliming around in Kenya!

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

10

u/Secure_Cake3746 9d ago

I know this isnt your idea, but wouldnt they think of an easier way to murder someone rather than building the latgest ship of the time and sinking it?

→ More replies

32

u/damo_8070 9d ago

And they used a military grade anti ship iceberg

→ More replies
→ More replies

132

u/jimmyerthesecond 9d ago

What classroom had pictures of the Titanic?

127

u/stevedave_37 9d ago

Lol beyond the conspiracy... Does anyone remember the fucking titanic from kindergarten?? Here's some letters kids. And numbers. And here's a murderous boat! Also we went to space. Dinosaurs.

19

u/Astarkos 8d ago

Im picturing kids lining up on the first day of school and being issued books on dinosaurs and the moon landing, a globe, and a large framed photo of the titanic and then comically struggling to haul it all.

→ More replies
→ More replies

295

u/Undercrackrz 9d ago

Given i know two people who have actually been down to the wreck...I'm going to lean towards it actually existing. I've seen the evidence too.

216

u/Sojourner202 9d ago

That's just what a deep state shill would say. /s

128

u/compost-me 9d ago

Deep sea shill

106

u/_yetifeet 9d ago Helpful

He sells sea shills by the sea shore

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

68

u/Randall_Hickey 9d ago

I mean there’s plenty evidence of the moon landing also

65

u/moosehead71 9d ago

Titanic landing on the moon is a conspiracy, its what "they" have programmed us to believe.

31

u/Maelou 9d ago

Finally meeting someone who also rejects that evident lie.

I always tell my friends NASA could not have possibly landed a titanic full of dinosaurs on the moon and yet, they all claim they have "scientific evidences" to support it

→ More replies

73

u/MrOopiseDaisy 9d ago Wholesome

Russia: "We were the first nation to send a satellite into space. We were the first nation to send an animal into space. We were the first nation to send a person into space."

United States (1969): "Hey, Russia, are you looking at the moon right now?"

Russia: "Yes, why- "

28

u/ours 9d ago

No, no they were all colluding in this conspiracy because that makes sense to these crazies.

21

u/xSARGEx117x 9d ago

America's biggest thorn in the side basically from ww2 up until the 90s... Collaborating. To lie to the world about.... Them LOSING the space race?

The very people who were competing with the US to get to the moon first?

Who have every reason in the world to prove the US lied?

And absolutely no motivation to go along with it? Even after the entire government and country change out, multiple times?

I mean, if you believe every single doctor on the entire planet are all working together to lie to people, and not one single person has come forth with credible evidence supporting that claim, then you can believe anything.

Heck, plenty of people all over the world believe in a plethora of deities with absolutely no evidence said deities exist, so.....

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

20

u/toeofcamell 9d ago

My friend has a watch that has a piece of the titanic inside it, I guess his watch is a govt conspiracy now

65

u/JD_26 9d ago

I'm infinitely more skeptical of your friend's watch actually containing a piece of the Titanic than I am that the Titanic existed and sank.

And I'm not skeptical of your friend's watch.

→ More replies
→ More replies

161

u/luke_the_incorrect 9d ago

I am only aware of the theory that it was not the actual titanic that sank but its sister ship bc they switched names due to issues with the actual titanic (smth like that)

But more than that idk

237

u/thefiendhitman 9d ago

Not to argue with you, cause you're just stating what you've heard, but Moses' sandals.

I mean, that's a bit of a non-theory. Even if they traded names. The three Olympic sisters were close enough that whichever one had "Titanic" painted on it was the Titanic for all intents and purposes. Likely not many people other than the engineers and builders could tell the three apart at a glance. It's also not really important cause the Britannic also met a sad end. Olympic was the only one of the three that was retired and scrapped at the end of her career.

Even if that's the case though, that Olympic was supposed to be Titanic? It doesn't matter, it's Olympic because that's what it says on the ship, and the paperwork. That's a conspiracy theory just to be a contrarian and conspiracy theorist. There's literally nothing there.

Man, did this feel good to write, even if it doesn't make sense. The catharsis was nice. Sometimes a good rant sorts me out real nice.

149

u/luke_the_incorrect 9d ago

That's a conspiracy theory just to be a contrarian and conspiracy theorist

You just summed up a big chunk of conspiracy theories right there.

And yes i agree with you - once again it was just the only theory i heard about the titanic (or at least the only theory i could remember)

23

u/thefiendhitman 9d ago

I did say a lot of things to say that haha. It does wrap up a lot of the conspiracy theorists with a nice little bow.

This was more for me, I know you don’t buy into that silliness.

→ More replies

30

u/teabagmoustache 9d ago

I've read that the conspiracy is that they switched the ships for an insurance scam as they knew it was likely to sink and the payout was more on the Titanic.

Still probably bs

7

u/TheLesserWeeviI 8d ago

It's incredibly easy to debunk too.

Each significant piece of the hulls of three sister ships had their own 'hull number' (unique to that specific ship) stamped on it. Olympic was 400 and Titanic was 401. No part of the wreck has ever been recovered, photographed or even found bearing Olympic's hull number.

→ More replies
→ More replies

14

u/Npr31 9d ago

Precisely - the notable part of the Titanic story is ‘big boat, with lots of people, hit big block of ice and sank’. Doesn’t matter which of 3 boats it was - so long as it had Titanic written on the side, there’s no conspiracy there if big boat with lots of people still hit big ice and sank

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

28

u/UncleBenders 9d ago

Yes all lies, but a snake tricking a woman into eating an apple and making us all realise we were naked is Fakts 💯

→ More replies

8

u/Chaine351 9d ago

Yeah, came here to ask this exact thing.

What's next? Yesterday?

→ More replies

20

u/Ugo777777 9d ago

This? What's to question about that event, lol.

→ More replies
→ More replies

3.0k

u/Bbew_Mot 9d ago

What people are opposed to photographs of the Titanic?

3.2k

u/FeelingSurprise 9d ago Silver Gold Take My Energy

Icebergs don't sink steel ships! 04/14 was an inside job!

940

u/Wolff_Hound 9d ago Helpful Wholesome

Steel ships are not real because steel don't float.

434

u/FeelingSurprise 9d ago

You're right! Feathers float, but steel is heavier than feathers.

127

u/Due_Lion3875 9d ago

So they made of wood! Ducks are made of wood!

81

u/unique-name-9035768 9d ago

Ergo, the Titanic was made out of wood.

Which means, it's a witch?

42

u/FeelingSurprise 9d ago

That's the only explanation left.

34

u/DextrosKnight 8d ago

And what do we do with witches?

→ More replies
→ More replies

55

u/R2D2D2D3 9d ago

Who are you so wise in the ways of science

→ More replies
→ More replies

12

u/Head12head12 9d ago

That means steel is not made of wood, and isn’t a witch

→ More replies

17

u/jakobjaderbo 9d ago edited 2d ago

Also doesn't fly, proving 9/11 was not caused by a hit by planes.

→ More replies

216

u/toeofcamell 9d ago

Yeah but jet fuel can melt icebergs

Checkmate

116

u/helpful_idiott 9d ago

So Bush sunk the Titanic?

45

u/borismuller 9d ago

Time-travelling Bush

38

u/Giocri 9d ago

I remember someone theorized that the titanic sunc because of the weight of all the time travelers who went to see it.

Don't think anyone has ever believed it but remains funny in its stupidity

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

7

u/distraughthinking 9d ago

This is so funny

→ More replies

163

u/Voodoo_Dummie 9d ago

There is a conspiracy theory that the Titanic was swapped with her sister ship the Olympic, which had been damaged in a collision earlier, as a massive insurance fraud.

But some people are addicted to the "secret knowledge" of conspiracies and will buy any and all of them.

20

u/Based_nobody 8d ago

I mean I've heard it before but I guess for me that still falls under "so what?" territory.

→ More replies
→ More replies

26

u/DerPicasso 9d ago

Its all photoshop duh

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.6k

u/SettingRegular4289 9d ago

I had known people didn’t believe in a round earth and dinosaurs, but I have never heard of titanic deniers. Is this a common thing?

686

u/Redstoneprime 9d ago

Funny how people don't believe in things that have actually been proven by decades/centuries of research.

496

u/SharpSabine 9d ago Helpful

Proving the globe earth doesn't even take real research, it just takes some thinking. Flat earthers cannot manage to come up with a model that manages to explain more than one thing at a time. Day/night, seasons, eclipses, all things they have to come up with incompatible ideas to explain. Yet the model of a round earth explains it just fine, with one, single model. Weird how that works.

Also, so many numbers of conspiracies are just ridiculous in the level of coordination it would be taking to have the whole world tricking you into believing something, most of which are entirely inconsequential. EG, flat earth, anti evolution, the fucking Titanic apparently lmao

215

u/boogs_23 9d ago

Believing the flat Earth conspiracy would mean denying all physics. How the hell does one hear that and think "yeah, every single scientist is wrong and these few nut jobs got it figured". Relativity? Einstein is an idiot.

136

u/SharpSabine 9d ago

That would require basic scientific knowledge. Like I said, I think the craziest part to try and believe is that everyone is conspiring, from all different parts of the world, that don't agree on anything else, to deceive you of one random and insignificant thing. It's just a petty want to feel like you're special and have some kind of special knowledge/realization.

62

u/Shmooperdoodle 8d ago

This is actually the single best argument against conspiracy theories. Like, look at one single government. See how effectively they keep their secrets. Then zoom out. People had bloody wars over which flavor of Christianity was right, but humanity across the globe is capable of keeping a major, juicy secret? No way in hell is that true. People are far too stupid and eager to use things against their opposition to agree to maintain such massive lies.

21

u/iamadickonpurpose 8d ago

Exactly! It's hard to get 10 friends to keep a really big secret. There's no way you'd get what would have to be thousands, maybe even millions, of people to keep a secret like that. There's no way that not one person throughout history wouldn't have let something slip by now. Not one person has told their significant other? Or gotten fucked up and let it slip at a party or a bar? Not a single deathbed confession? I find that impossible to believe.

11

u/Chezzomaru 8d ago

Apparently they ran social tests and 500 is the MAX amount of conspirators you can have before someone lets something slip and this is over a MUCH shorter time period than most conspiracies.

→ More replies
→ More replies

15

u/Open-Ticket-3356 9d ago

but complex conspiracies sound better than “I am too dumb to understand easy science”.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

35

u/VaguelySquare84 9d ago

And they are usually REALLY bad at judging distance, too. For a while I’d watch some of the flat earth videos on YouTube just to see WHY they thought it was flat. And the one common thread between all of them is they have no idea how long a mile is. Which usually messes up all the “math” they try to do as well.

→ More replies

18

u/thebrandnewbob 9d ago

All flat-earthers have to do is show the ice wall that they think surrounds the world. You'd think they could have come up with a single picture by now.

→ More replies

34

u/emma_does_life 9d ago

Flat Earthers also usually don't believe in gravity so I love how they explain that away with something along the lines of "on the Flat Earth, there's just this force that pushes things down naturally unlike gravity."

They use gravity to say gravity doesn't exist.

13

u/SharpSabine 9d ago

There's a rabbit hole of the level 2 flat earthers that thing it's electromagnetism and it hurts.. it really hurts.

8

u/minimanmike1 8d ago

Or even better is when they use things like weight, which requires gravity, to explain why gravity isn’t real.

→ More replies
→ More replies

134

u/borismuller 9d ago

No no you mean massive government coverups. Never mind that faking the moon landing for example would have required governments including the Soviets to play along.

84

u/Seven_Hawks 9d ago

I'm pretty sure I've read that at the time, faking the moon landing would have cost more than just actually putting people on the moon.

I'm sure it was worth it xD

39

u/sjmp75020 9d ago

That’s what I call the “conspiracy Mendoza line.” There’s a point when doing the conspiracy (managing the travel arrangements for all the conspirators, paying for the conspiracy dental plan, etc) gets so massively expensive it’s just cheaper not to do the conspiracy.

21

u/AdEmbarrassed9719 8d ago

I think the majority of conspiracies fall under that. They all fall apart under just a little examination and thought.

My fave is Chemtrails - we are supposed to believe that in an industry where every dollar and every pound counts, the airline industry has installed some sort of special tanks with special chemicals in it to be sprayed secretly into the air. Every airline. In every country on the entire planet. And despite that meaning that multiple manufacturers of airplanes, many many airlines, hundreds of thousands of people who build the airplanes, maintain them, fly them (the weight of the equipment and chemicals would have to be accommodated for in every takeoff and landing), attend aircraft emergencies, load and unload the chemicals and equipment and maintain the sprayers, AND every airline regulatory agency on the entire planet AND every air crash investigator on the entire planet would have to be in on and keeping the secret. Hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people all keeping this secret hush-hush. But they know about it because they know the right place to look on the internet for the real "truth".

I always wonder if these people have ever tried to get a group of people to agree on a restaurant for dinner. Because based on how difficult that is, the chances of getting several hundred thousand people worldwide from the executives all the way down to the mechanics and baggage handlers to keep this secret are basically less than 0.

→ More replies

39

u/iMeerr 9d ago

This. A thousand times this. In my opinion, the greatest evidence of the moon landing happening is that even the Soviet Union acknowledged it the next day

16

u/justaguy394 9d ago

No, you see lunar programs were insanely expensive and bankrupting Russia, so they went along with the hoax to have good reason to stop. (I feel dirty even writing that)

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

40

u/New-Topic2603 9d ago

One of my friends gets offended when people say round earth or even sphere because "technically it's a " then I stop listening so I don't actually know what shape it is

61

u/christopia86 9d ago

If he thinks being an oblate spheroid means you can't call it round I don't think he really knows what he's talking about.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

1.7k

u/Mr_Dr_Rocket_Surgeon 9d ago

Wtf is he talking about? Where is this advanced kindergarden where they teach about the moon landing and the titanic on day one?

1.0k

u/Phyr8642 9d ago

Right, the first day of Kindergarten is mostly 'stop eating the crayons'.

678

u/pokey1984 9d ago All-Seeing Upvote

"Stop eating the crayons" is the second day of kindergarten.

The first day of kindergarten is how to stand in line and how to play "the quiet game" which is absolutely the most brilliant game ever invented. Whoever is responsible for creating "the quiet game" is woefully underappreciated.

Source: am teacher. Have taught kindergarten.

153

u/borismuller 9d ago

Every kindergarten teacher should raise a toast to that forgotten hero.

75

u/antiskylar1 9d ago

Coincidentally, "stop eating the crayons" is also the 2nd day of bootcamp.

35

u/ztunytsur 9d ago

I've been lead to believe that Marines skip this day

→ More replies

11

u/JohnGenericDoe 9d ago

And the third, and the fourth, and...

→ More replies

9

u/Jean-Paul_Sartre 9d ago

These lessons still need to be taught in 5th grade.

→ More replies
→ More replies

86

u/B-is-for-beer 9d ago

Coincidentally, also the first day of Marine Corps boot camp

18

u/ICEKAT 9d ago

I thought that was when they gave you crayons.

→ More replies
→ More replies

28

u/jdfsociety 9d ago

That's just part of the brainwashing. "What are they hiding in those crayons? Ask yourself why they're telling the kids not to eat the crayons. They're telling YOUR KIDS this, your KIDS. Wake up people!"

→ More replies

37

u/TooManyJabberwocks 9d ago

Should thank those future marines for their service

→ More replies

13

u/_EveryDay 9d ago

Where's my globe?!

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.2k

u/ClaptonBug 9d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Original

Oh yeah I remember my first day of preschool, my pink haired Marxist teacher pulled out an alphabet chart, said: A is for Apples in Spain are harvested by African slaves, B for Bisexual don't have as much sex is most people think, C for Capitalism dehumanizes you by alienating workers from the fruits of their labor,D for Destroy capitalism and seize the means of production, E for Execute our capitalist overlords, F for Federalise the housing, G for God has been co-oped to support the structures that oppress you and dull you to the urgency to see change by promising an eternal and fairer society in the afterlife....by the time we got to Z I was a pink haired socialist

86

u/boogs_23 9d ago

I know it's anecdotal but when I went to kindergarten in '86, my teacher said the lords prayer every morning. The east Indian kids were confused.

37

u/cargonation 9d ago

In 4th grade my teacher made us say the Lord's Prayer. Also, if we were caught with gum, she made us chew an old piece of gum she kept on a paper towel in her desk.

23

u/lumberepi 8d ago

I want to say the world pre-pandemic was wild, but that’s gross no matter what.

→ More replies

14

u/ClaptonBug 8d ago

I'm in Film school right now and all my photography lecture's explanations start with "When the all mighty creator said 'Let their be light', he imparted certain characteristics to it...."

→ More replies
→ More replies

286

u/punksmostlydead 9d ago

Wow, you're a lot stronger than me; I only made it to "M is for 'Mao'" before my hair turned pink and I developed an overwhelming desire to rise up against our corporate masters.

60

u/ClaptonBug 9d ago

I think that makes you a genius fam lmao

→ More replies

91

u/pieohmi 9d ago

What’s with the pink haired thing anyway? We have a political commercial that has been running locally, for senator John Kennedy, that mentioned the pink haired wokers. Are we judging people on their hair color these days? What a freaking idiot.

78

u/GiventoWanderlust 8d ago

It's just a stereotype. People willing to dye their hair are people willing to 'stand out.' They're nontraditional. The Venn diagram of people willing to stand out/be different and people who vote left likely has a significant amount of overlap.

Conservative voters are all about acting and looking more "traditionally." Probably plenty of hair dye, but trends far more heavily blonde.

12

u/ghandi3737 8d ago

Yet the conservatives are the ones who are always talking about being an individual, and individualism yet are very "bland" and homogeneous when it comes to clothes and thought.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

574

u/d4v3k0r3sh 9d ago

I guess it's a matter of time until the conspiracy theory pops up about a secret society that is ingesting conspiracy theories..

129

u/TSAOutreachTeam 9d ago

We're through the looking glass here, folks.

31

u/TooManyJabberwocks 9d ago

Enjoy the Bread and Butterflies

→ More replies

94

u/puddingdemon 9d ago

Notice how all conspiracy theorists all support having an all powerful leader? Groups are pumping out conspiracy theories to weaken people's faith in traditional government so they have a easier time creating a fascist government.

→ More replies

38

u/KrustenStewart 9d ago edited 9d ago

Actually yeah that’s sort of a common “conspiracy theory” among conspiracy theorists. That things like flat earth were purposely put out there to discredit conspiracy theorists and make them seem so crazy that any other conspiracy they believe will now be categorized as being as ridiculous as flat earth. *edit typo

→ More replies
→ More replies

231

u/arcmart 9d ago

I don’t think this idiot went to kindergarten.

88

u/toeofcamell 9d ago

He homeschooled himself from 4 years old on

→ More replies

27

u/Granadafan 9d ago

This is what happens when you “do your own research”

→ More replies
→ More replies

658

u/jonjonesjohnson 9d ago

People this fucking dumb should not exist.

138

u/hackingdreams 9d ago Bravo!

The sad part is how much effort is put into being this dumb. Like, it takes an extraordinary amount of effort to ignore objective reality - most of the only people capable of it have actual mental illnesses.

You have to actively tailor your whole life around it to be this incredibly damaged - your media consumption, the people you interact with on a daily basis... everything. It's the great tragedy of the internet that it has given these people a mechanism for finding one another and spreading their insanity... but it's an even greater disaster that we haven't banded together as a society and protected the vulnerable from being poached by them. And worse - in recent years companies and political parties have been weaponizing these people, turning them into actual terrorists and bigots.

The fact that sites like Facebook and Youtube still indulge these people is frankly absurd to the level of disbelief. The amount of "perpetual motion machine" videos on Youtube with tens of thousands to millions of hits would absolutely cook your last braincells. It's patently absurd the amount of energy that has to be expended countering this nonsense...

Society needs a reckoning to deal with these elements. We shouldn't be spreading their brain damage, we should be calling on these companies to remove them from their platforms and delete their disinformation. That's the only way we're ever going to get rid of this plague on our society.

73

u/raltoid 9d ago

The sad part is how much effort is put into being this dumb. Like, it takes an extraordinary amount of effort to ignore objective reality - most of the only people capable of it have actual mental illnesses.

It's a lot simpler than you'd think:

They're idiots who want to feel smart. By latching on to these conspiracy theories they convince themselves that they are smarter than everyone else, since they managed to figure it out and "see through the lies".

A huge amount of them know deep down that they're wrong, and all the nonsense they're spouting is mostly to convince themselves.

It's also why they refuse to accept any evidence that counters their theory, they don't care about the truth of facts, they only care about their own feelings.

7

u/PsyAyeAyeDuck 9d ago

Never underestimate the power of belonging to a group no matter how fringe it gets.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

47

u/A_posh_idiot 9d ago

Wait, the titanic isn’t real now???

→ More replies

39

u/Longlivewolfy 9d ago

You all got photos of the Titanic?!?!?!? Why didn't I get any?

15

u/OldGregg1014 9d ago

Right! I still haven’t watched the damn movie and I’m in my mid 40s. The nerve of these people passing out photos. I like pictures too!

→ More replies

31

u/PetroleumJelly82 9d ago

The Titanic never landed on the Moon, it was an inside job by big Eco.

→ More replies

130

u/PurpleSquare713 9d ago

Yikes. A creationist, flat-earther, boat-sinking, moon landing denier.

99

u/Granadafan 9d ago

$100 says he’s an anti vaxxer as well

58

u/EntertainmentOk4734 9d ago

$200 he does believe in God and started brainwashing his kids way before kindergarten

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

73

u/Bluebyday 9d ago

I fucking remember ABCs on day 1. The fuck is this guy talking about?

95

u/borismuller 9d ago Helpful Giggle

ABCDEFGwe landed on the moon in 1969HIJKLM the world is sphericalNOPQRSTdinosaurs lived millions of years agoUVWXYTitanic sunk in 1912Z

→ More replies
→ More replies

67

u/Redstoneprime 9d ago

I've seen someone claiming that African wild dogs don't hunt..... in the comments section of a video that shows African wild dogs hunting.

48

u/Cu_fola 9d ago edited 9d ago

People hear an animal “fact” at some point and hold onto it forever for some reason. They also think hyenas don’t hunt and lions rule the jungle Despite the flat brown environment we see them in most of the time.

Once had a guy I know who’s very macho talking about how someone else was “a real tiger” and he appreciated that and all but she needed to understand that he was a “lion” and back off over some difference they had on a joint project and stop fighting him on it.

I pointed out that tigers can weigh twice as much as a lion with almost 2x the bite force and there is no social hierarchy between lions and tigers. It didn’t land. Don’t know what I expected from someone unironically calling himself a lion.

8

u/Redstoneprime 9d ago

I often have to tell people that hyenas do indeed hunt. And, quite often, they still claim they are scavengers even if I provide a quote from researchers.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

16

u/my20cworth 9d ago

Is he being serious. Possibly a tongue in cheek post. If he is serious, then a big wtf.

→ More replies

14

u/telephas1c 9d ago

And birds, Matthew. They make children think that birds are real.

It's a disgrace

→ More replies

12

u/bleepbloopmonkee49 9d ago

What did the Titanic do now💀

→ More replies

9

u/Sarcastaballphrase 9d ago

Whoa... The titanic was part of the flat earth T Rex Moon cheese conspiracy? Does JFK know and Elvis know about this?

→ More replies

8

u/3_teve 9d ago

I was presented with crayons

→ More replies

48

u/Maleficent_Tie4767 9d ago

TF wrong with the moon landing? One of mankind’s greatest achievements! Is this some kind of dig at science?

16

u/Pielikeman 9d ago

The moon landing was a communist conspiracy to lull America into a false sense of superiority and pave the way for the rusky's army of psychic super bears!

→ More replies

43

u/pokey1984 9d ago

The conspiracy theorists insist that mankind never went to the moon and it's all a lie. Believing that man landed on the moon is proof that you are a government stooge or something.

At least, I think that's how that goes. I usually start backing away slowly when those sorts of topics come up and gtfo. Because I got no time in my life for that kind of crazy.

32

u/borismuller 9d ago

Which is funny once you realise that faking it would have been way more difficult than going.

Adam Ruins Everything

→ More replies

15

u/GuruBushHippie 9d ago

Guy cornered me outside the laundromat smoking a cigarette the other day. Started talking about flat earth and “the dome.” So I asked why we haven’t found where the dome meets the flat earth yet. He said “the dome goes around the flat earth.” I said what the hell does that mean?!?” And he says “imagine a sheet of paper inside of a bubble.”

That’s just an atmosphere with extra steps man. What the hell.

9

u/Dr_J_Hyde 9d ago

Well see the problem is that even the experiments designed by flat-earth people keep proving that the Earth is not flat so they have to keep doing mental gymnastics to stay ahead of the evidence that the Earth is in fact round.

The easiest one that anyone can do is to lay down and watch the sun set. Then the moment it falls below the horizon quickly stand up and you can watch the sun go down again.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies